Addiction doesn’t just affect the person with a drug or alcohol problem. It’s called a family disease because it also impacts everyone who cares about the addicted family member. In this four-minute Resources For Living® (RFL®)* video, Daphne Parker, licensed professional counselor, discusses how to help an addicted family member. And she stresses the importance of taking care of yourself during this challenging journey.
Your Costco benefits offer help for you and your family, including your family member who is battling addiction. To learn more, see the resources listed below.
*Resources For Living is available to all employees and members of their household, including children up to age 26 living away from home.
Video: Prescription medicine: Could you have a problem?
It’s a national story that leads the news nearly every night. Opioid addiction rates continue to rise. And opioid deaths, particularly from fentanyl, are increasing at an alarming rate. For many of us, opioid addiction is no longer something that happens to other people. It can happen to anyone. According to the NIH National Institute on Drug Abuse, 75% of people who began abusing opioids in the 2000s reported that their first opioid was a prescription drug.1
If you think that you or someone close to you might be in danger of slipping into prescription drug misuse, this video can provide you with some useful information.
Your Costco benefits offer support for you and your family, including help with substance misuse issues. To learn more, see the resources listed below.
The root word of communication is communion, which means to share intimate thoughts. It doesn’t always mean coming to an agreement. It means there’s a flow, a willingness to open up, to listen and be heard, to understand and be understood.
Mutual respect is rule #1. If you don’t respect the person you’re talking to then you may want to avoid having a conversation at this time. All parties should enter the conversation with positive intent — to understand and be understood.
2. Think it through.
The most important conversation is the one you have with yourself. Take a moment to collect your thoughts and the points you want to make. Then, stay on track and in the moment. Avoid bringing up unrelated topics. Know what your anchor is and refer to it regularly.
3. Stick to the facts.
State what you know to be true. This doesn’t mean you have to be a historian, medical expert or political scientist. Your lived experiences are true for you. The same goes for the person you’re speaking with.
4. Aim for dialogue. Not monologue.
Ensure that other people have a chance to be heard. Avoid raising your voice and interrupting or talking over people, even if they’re using these tactics.
5. Listen. Listen. Listen.
Instead of solely trying to prove your point, listen with the intent of understanding what the other person is trying to say. What can you learn from this conversation? What light can they shed? Is there something you hadn’t previously thought of or considered? Listening makes people feel seen, heard and valued. This can greatly increase the odds that they’ll do the same for you.
6. Stay calm.
Emotionally charged conversations can be extremely stressful. This can make us only want to engage with people who already agree with us. If we do engage, we can sometimes be defensive, say things we later regret, or stop listening altogether and simply wait until we get a chance to speak. When we keep our emotions in check, we open up consideration for other points of view and expanded thinking. If you need to step away from the conversation to collect yourself, that’s okay, too. Remember, the loudest voices aren’t necessarily right.
7. Use appropriate language.
Tuck away the insults, stereotypes and triggering comments. (Review the previous step if necessary.)
8. Show genuine interest.
Use the tips below to help your conversation partner feel seen, valued and inspired to return the favor.
Put away distractions. Turn off the phone. Pull out your earbuds. Make eye contact.
Repeat words or short phrases back. This lets the person you’re talking to know you heard what they said. For example, “You said you think what happened is unfair. Okay, can you help me understand why?”
Respect personal experiences and emotions. Refrain from making dismissive comments like, “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re overreacting.” Instead, say, “I hadn’t thought of it like that. I understand now” or “I was wrong. Thank you for correcting me.”
Ask questions. Go beyond the obvious and dig a little deeper. Ask questions like, “Why do you feel this is the best option?”“What was considered when arriving at your point of view?”“Can you tell me more about how you feel?” or “Can you explain why you think that?” In response, try saying things like, “I feel _ because of _.”
After a hard conversation, take time to think about what you discussed. Journal your thoughts. Write down what you learned, what you wished you had said or what you could have said differently. Ask yourself what you learned about yourself and others.
This kind of mindful review can help you recognize your blind spots. Over time, you’ll become more comfortable approaching challenging conversations.
Remember, none of us is perfect. We may sometimes miss the mark in our attempt to gain understanding, forget to mention something or, upon later reflection, have a change of heart. It‘s okay to revisit conversations and even concede ground if need be. In the end, we may have to agree to disagree to avoid jeopardizing relationships with people in our lives.
Source:AbleTo. How to have difficult conversations.
Few people are completely rational when it comes to money. Most of us don’t create and follow a budget or save something every paycheck, though we think we should. We know we need a financial plan, but somehow it doesn’t happen. We often spend too much money because it’s more fun to buy a higher-priced item today than to put the money in savings and wait twenty years to reap the rewards. Often we spend too little because we feel guilty. And sometimes our behavior with money brings on uncomfortable feelings.
Many of us have a complex relationship with money. We make decisions about money that impact our financial situation, and those impacts in turn affect our feelings and future behaviors. And it’s a relationship that evolves over a lifetime.
Here are three key things to know about our relationship with money:
Emotion plays a huge role.
Anxiety and avoidance create a vicious cycle.
Our family dynamics and past experiences affect our behavior.
Emotion and money
The emotions you connect to money, including fear, envy, shame and guilt, tend to drive your actions.
What’s there to be afraid of? You might be afraid of looking foolish, for example, when it’s your turn to pick up the check and you’re short on cash. Perhaps you’re afraid that you’ll never have as much money as the people you see on TikTok and Instagram. If you’re making more money than your friends, you might be worried that they secretly envy and resent you. Or you might fear being exposed or humiliated if you experience a sudden drop in income.
Shame is one of the most common and powerful emotions associated with money and personal finance. It’s one of the main reasons people avoid doing what they know they should.
Here are just some of the possible versions of shameful feelings related to money:
I don’t have enough money.
I’ve avoided thinking about finances.
I’ve avoided doing what I’m supposed to do about finances (creating a safety net, planning for retirement, sensible budgeting).
I’m really ignorant about all of this.
I spend too much.
I buy stuff when I’m unhappy.
Shame interacts with avoidance to create a vicious cycle. When you’re filled with shame, the natural tendency is to avoid facing whatever is making you uncomfortable. That avoidance itself leads to additional shame and more avoidance. Next thing you know, your taxes are overdue, and it’s six years since you decided to finally make an appointment to see a financial planner – and it still hasn’t happened.
People who avoid tackling financial necessities often label themselves procrastinators and assume they’re just lazy or undisciplined. That’s not helpful. The fact is, we’re hardwired to try to avoid things that make us feel anxious or uncomfortable. The tricky thing is that in the very short run, avoidance works to reduce anxiety. Because it works, you’re inclined to do it again in the same circumstance.
The vicious cycle of anxiety and avoidance
Here’s how it unfolds. You’re thinking about sitting down, taking a hard look at your financial situation and creating a realistic financial plan. But just thinking about it increases your anxiety, because you’re afraid you won’t be able to face the reality that, for example, you have nowhere near enough saved for your kids’ education. That anxiety leads to avoidance. You postpone the task and distract yourself. At that moment, your anxiety level immediately drops, giving you positive reinforcement for avoidance.
You repeat this cycle over and over. But each immediate drop in anxiety doesn’t quite bring you back to the previous baseline level of distress. And over time, your overall level of anxiety increases and increases.
So, what happens when you confront this unpleasant task? As you face the facts, your anxiety temporarily increases. If you stay with it, however, the overall level of anxiety will steadily decline. You have to tolerate that short-term increase in distress to benefit from the long-term decrease in anxiety. In the end, the lesson is that reality makes a better friend than avoidance.
Other emotions that come into play with money include envy, greed, over excitement and a social-psychological phenomenon known as “jumping on the bandwagon.” Some of these are more relevant in the realm of professional investing as opposed to personal finance.
Family and childhood influences never end
Every family has its own particular psychology of money. What can be talked about, who should be in control, what money responsibilities are assigned to what gender, how important money is or isn’t.
Additionally, there are always stories about money that are part of a family’s identity. Maybe a serial entrepreneur grandfather lost the family fortune, prompting later generations to be very conservative with money.
You may have experienced subtle pressures to right the wrongs experienced by previous generations. Or you may feel internal pressure to oppose the family money mentality. If you’re the first in your family to succeed, you might want to give back to the rest of the family and neglect your own financial needs.
How to harness money emotions
Emotion isn’t all bad. It tells you what you’re passionate about, what really matters to you. It makes you feel alive. Anxiety isn’t all bad either. A little anxiety can motivate you to make much-needed changes that improve your situation. Harness it to tackle what you need to face and know that you’ll feel better when you’ve done so.
The key is self-awareness. Much of our emotional world is unconscious. But it’s not that hard to access. You just need to know what to look for and have a blueprint for the kinds of emotions and family stories that can influence your personal relationship with money.
Source:Forbes. The psychology of money: what you need to know to have a (relatively) fearless financial life.
These mini frittatas are great for meal planning. Cook them on a Sunday and eat them all week long. They’re bursting with meaty, cheesy goodness. To make prep quicker and easier, pick up pre-sliced mushrooms and (if your store has it) pre-shredded light Swiss cheese. And “sauté” the mushrooms in the microwave to both speed up prep and simplify cleanup – no skillet to wash by hand, just a bowl to toss in the dishwasher.
Place the mushrooms in a medium microwave-safe bowl; cover and microwave on high until tender, 2 to 3 minutes. Drain and cool slightly.
Step 2
In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, salt and pepper until well blended. Stir in the ham, cheese, scallions and mushrooms.
Step 3
Divide the mixture evenly among the prepared muffin cups, about ⅓ cup each.
Bake until set, 18 to 20 minutes.
Nutrition
Serving size: 1 frittata | Calories: 89 | Total fat: 5 g | Saturated fat: 1.5 g | Sodium: 226 mg | Total carbohydrates: 2 g | Fiber: 0.5 g | Protein: 9 g
All Costco employees age 18+ get an exclusive discount off the retail price and can join now for as low as $14 per month. Spouses/domestic partners and dependents can sign up for as low as $19.50 per month. Sign up at WW.com/Costco.
Each quarter, you’ll have the opportunity to take on a new challenge. Just one simple action that can make a big improvement in your emotional, financial or physical well-being.
Whether or not you’ve taken the Costco well-being pledge, you can still benefit by participating in these challenges. You might start a healthy new habit (or get rid of a bad one). Learn something that inspires you to make positive changes. Or you might discover a Costco benefit that can make a real difference in your well-being.
Here’s this quarter’s well-being challenge:
Spend 5 minutes a day focusing on things you’re grateful for
Research has shown that gratitude is associated with greater happiness. It helps people feel more positive emotions, have good experiences, improve their health, deal with challenges and build strong relationships.*
And it’s so easy to do. Make it the first thing you do in the morning, or the last thing you do at night. Take 5 minutes to focus on your gratitude list. You can write it down or not. Your list can include big things, like your health, family and friends, or everyday pleasures, like a beautiful sunset, a delicious meal or an afternoon of gardening.
Not only can this new habit change your perspective, it can reduce your stress, which can greatly affect your physical well-being, and make you more resilient.
