We all want peaceful relationships with friends and family, but even the healthiest bonds will have times of conflict. And while it’s natural to want to push those uncomfortable feelings away, bringing attention to them actually helps the emotions move through you. The result? You bring more peace to your relationships, which helps them thrive.
Practice accepting challenging emotions with this soothing, five-minute body scan from AbleTo.
[Narrator] Welcome. To start, find a comfortable seated position with your spine straight and allow your eyes to close.
And just bring your attention to your breathing. You don’t need to take deep breaths or anything. However, you’re breathing is fine. Just watch the rise and fall of your breaths for a few breaths.
In this meditation, we’re going to be practicing the skill of acceptance. So recall the anxious emotion and bring your attention to the place in the body where you sense the emotion most strongly.
Maybe it’s your chest or your stomach. Just pick one spot. And if you’re not sure if you’re feeling an emotion in your body, you can try this with any unpleasant sensation in your body.
And try to just observe the physical sensation. You don’t need to do anything in response to it, just notice it. And if you notice your mind wandering, just bring your attention back to the sensations.
For the first experiment, we’re going to try resisting the emotion. So, think about how you want the emotion to stop. If you’re willing, try actually thinking the words I don’t like it and I wish it would go away, or whatever words fit for you. And notice how it feels. There’s probably some sense of relief.
That’s why we resist. But there may also be something else. Perhaps a sense of an internal struggle or impasse. Be curious about the subtleties of your experience. Notice what feels pleasant and unpleasant.
For the second experiment, we’ll do the opposite. Instead of an attitude of resistance, we’re going to experiment with an attitude of welcoming.
Picture a loving grandmother with her young grandson. She doesn’t try to change him, she just feels delighted to see him, even if he’s having a tantrum. Doesn’t mean she enjoys or endorses the tantrum. She just accepts it as a part of who he is and loves him anyway. It may seem strange, but I’m going to invite you to try bringing this loving, accepting attitude to the anxious emotion you’re working with.
So, let’s try it.
Bring your attention back to the physical sensations of the emotion. Notice if any muscles are tense. Maybe your face or shoulders or stomach. Any tense muscles that you notice, just relax them. You may still have a sense of wanting the emotion to stop, which is fine.
Just notice that feeling of wanting it to stop, and then see if you can bring in some of the loving, accepting attitude instead. If you’re willing, try thinking the words,
I accept and welcome these feelings, or whatever words evoke the attitude for you. And we’ll spend several breaths here just cultivating this attitude of acceptance. And notice how this feels. Notice especially whether you feel any sense of movement or change with the anxious feeling.
It may soften or dissipate. In a short exercise like this, you may just feel it more intensely. But if you notice it changing more than it was before, it’s a healthy sign that the emotion is moving through its natural lifecycle.
You can use this technique any time you have a difficult emotion. See if you can bring your attention to it and allow it to be as it is.
When you feel ready, open your eyes.
