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MAY 2021
Setting healthy boundaries
Creating healthy boundaries is another way to protect and strengthen our psychological health and, in turn, our physical health. We usually think of self-care as meditating, exercising or relaxing. However, while all these activities can contribute to self-care, they can only do so much if you do not practice creating healthy boundaries, as well. Healthy boundaries are what keep us from getting burnt out or overwhelmed. And they tell others what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behavior toward us.
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There are several steps to setting up a healthy boundary, but one of the more difficult is identifying and knowing your limits. We often don’t know what our limits are until they’re violated — for example, you may not realize that lending your expertise to a friend is pushing your limits until they are asking for advice every single day.
The second piece you need to consider is how these types of boundaries apply with different people. It’s likely that your boundaries are not the same with a significant other as they are with an acquaintance. Within each of the above categories of people, you can have varying boundaries (for example, coworker vs. a boss), but starting with these categories will help you analyze how your boundaries change depending on who you interact with.
A great way to think about these boundaries is to examine times that you felt uncomfortable, angry, resentful or anxious with the people you interact with. That discomfort is telling you that some boundary was violated. Listen to it!