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JUNE 2024

The mood-boosting health benefits of kindness

Some days get the best of us. Traffic is awful. A friend or family member cancels their visit. You spill coffee in the breakroom. Your toilet backs up. It can be hard to keep smiling when it seems like everything’s working against you. 

Fortunately, there’s a way to boost your mood at any time that’s completely within your control. It’s as simple as boosting someone else’s mood first.  

And remember, your Costco benefits are always there for you to help you through a hard time or build your social connectedness.

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Being nice is a win-win

Many people have stories about how being nice to someone made them feel good. Now, science is beginning to help understand why. 

Using brain imaging, researchers found that receiving money increases activity in the brain’s reward system, the same area of the brain that releases feel-good chemicals when stimulated by food or a good nap.1 But that’s not all. Donating to a charity also had the same effect. In other words, both giving and receiving kindness can produce a natural high. 

But you don’t have to spend money to reap the benefits of being nice. According to a study in The Journal of Social Psychology, people aged 18 to 60 who carried out random acts of kindness every day for 10 days reported higher life satisfaction than those who didn’t.2 Spreading good vibes can really pay off.

Kindness doesn’t have to cost a thing

These everyday acts can leave a big impact on a fellow human being. Try one out to see how it feels. And if you need help nurturing your relationships, access free, personalized virtual mental health programs through programs such as AbleTo.*

Tell someone they’re doing a great job 

Noticing the work someone is putting in and saying thank you can make a huge difference in their day. Try things such as leaving a thank you note for your mail carrier, writing a Yelp review about a great waiter, or giving a fist bump to a helpful coworker.

Let someone else go first

Slowing down often creates opportunities to be kind. Maybe it’s letting a car merge in front of you in traffic. Or letting a person with fewer items at the grocery store check out before you. There are countless ways being a little patient can make all the difference to someone else.

Give something other than money

What do you own that you can give away? Consider carrying items like granola bars or new socks that you can give to unhoused folks. Or pack up used amenities that are still in good condition, like towels and sheets. Many animal shelters accept old linens to keep their animals warm.

Offer up your time

Everyone needs a break sometimes. If you know someone with kids or pets, offering to babysit or pet sit for free can be a huge help. Weed a busy neighbor’s garden. Help a friend clean out their closet. Or volunteer for a cause you believe in, such as Costco’s Reading Buddies program, where you help a young reader once a week at a school in your community. If interested, talk to your manager for more information.

Pay someone a compliment

It’s human nature to think that when someone is looking at you, they’re judging you. Flip this perception on its head. The next time you’re loving a coworker’s style, let them know.

Do someone else’s chores 

Whether it’s a roommate, family member, or friend, everyone gets overwhelmed. Sometimes just doing something small, like the dishes when it’s not your turn, can help someone else catch their breath.

Get in touch

Lots of people touch our lives without ever really knowing their impact. If there’s an old teacher, coach, or manager that changed your life, send them a message of gratitude. It could be exactly what they need that day.

Kindness breeds kindness

At the end of the day, you don’t need a lot of money or a lot of time to show kindness. Sometimes, it can be as simple as making eye contact, saying hi, or just offering a smile.  

If someone doesn’t wave back or express gratitude, that’s ok. Move on to the next opportunity. Kindness has a ripple effect. If you keep expressing it, it will keep coming back to you. 

Check out the resources below to get the personal support you need to create stronger and healthier connections.

*Not available in Puerto Rico. 

1Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Human fronto-mesolimbic networks guide decisions about charitable donation.
2The Journal of Social Psychology. Acts of kindness and acts of novelty affect life satisfaction.

Source:
AbleTo. 7 easy ways to make someone’s day (including your own) 

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JUNE 2024

A caregiver’s guide to setting healthy boundaries

What’s the most important job for a caregiver? It’s probably not what you think. When you take on the responsibilities of caring for another person, be it a grandparent, an aging parent, a sick friend or relative, or an older disabled child, self-care must come first. To use a familiar metaphor, you need to put on your oxygen mask before helping others.  

If you are or will be a caregiver, look to your Costco benefits to support you in this crucial role. And if you have a caregiver in your life, be sure to acknowledge the hard work they do and reach out to offer help when you can.

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Why self-care is important 

The rewards of caregiving are many. It can feel good to give back to someone who has cared for you. Or give you sense of satisfaction and pride knowing your loved one is well cared for. But caregiving can also put a strain on your mind and body.

The levels of stress hormones in caregivers are 23% higher in comparison to non-caregivers. 40 – 70% of caregivers experience symptoms of depression. 14% use alcohol to cope. And in one survey, over 30% of unpaid caregivers had considered suicide. 

These statistics show that it’s normal for caregivers to feel these difficult emotions. And that it’s ok to feel this way. Admitting that you’re struggling takes courage. It’s the first step in preserving and/or recovering your well-being.

How to build a boundary

You can only give quality care if you know your own needs and limitations. When these needs are unmet or demands are excessive, you might feel guilty or distressed—neither of which can help your situation. Creating boundaries is a way to lay the foundation for positive self-care habits. 

But how do you go about creating healthy boundaries? Follow these steps.

number 1

Accept your emotions, good and bad. 

When negative feelings show up, you may want to hide them. But these emotions have important underlying messages.

Anger and frustration notify you of unfair or unsustainable conditions, such as having to give care late into the night when you have to work the next day. Fear arises from uncomfortable events colliding with limited resources, such as taking on medical duties when you aren’t a trained medial professional. Resentment stems from feeling unappreciated or trapped, such as being unable to attend important social events due to your caregiving duties. Guilt displays our genuine wish to treat others well, such as wanting to be more patient with your loved one but feeling time pressure.  

Recognizing what these emotions mean can help you identify potential boundaries.

number 2

Set boundaries according to your goals.

What will help you feel better in daily life? Make a list of healthy habits or a tangible goal to work toward. Then set up and communicate your boundary to keep yourself on track. Slowly but surely, you’ll be able to construct a more sustainable lifestyle. Here are some examples to get you started.

Goal:
Exercise 2 – 3 times per week

Boundary:
“I will be going on a walk after your morning routine on days I feel up to it. I wanted to let you know that’s on my schedule, and you’re welcome to join me whenever.”

Goal:
Sleep 8 hours a night

Boundary:
“Let’s have all your nighttime needs met by 9 p. m., so I have an hour to wind down before sleep.”

Goal:
Engage in activities that you enjoy

Boundary:
“I need some time to recharge. Let’s find a window of a couple hours in the next two days when you won’t need my help, or when someone else can take over.”

number 3

Reach out to others. 

Friends, family members, physicians, therapists, community groups and online support networks may not be in your shoes, but they have the resources and are willing to listen and work with you through tough situations.  They can provide you a break and a safe space to vent. Asking someone else for help is a great gift and can strengthen both your confidence and the connection between you. 

Supportiv can quickly connect you online with other caregivers who understand. So, no matter what you’re dealing with, you won’t feel so alone. This totally anonymous service is free to Costco employees.

number 4

It’s ok to politely say no.

When asked if you can do an extra assignment or take on another duty, think about whether you can handle it. If you hesitate for a second, then you should not be picking up new tasks. Saying no to someone is not rude or mean. It demonstrates that you know your limits.

number 5

Build community outside of your caregiving relationship.

Understand that you need a wide circle of support. Build a community that’s not just family, but also people from different parts of your life, such as coworkers, neighbors, and friends old and new. Expose yourself to people who make you laugh and lift you up. There’s no room for guilt when you fill the room with people who support you.

Boundaries are meant to protect you and the person you care for, to preserve your caregiving relationship, and to create a more functional partnership. By showing the courage to value your own needs, you enhance the quality of care you provide.

It’s not always easy to ask for help. But taking care of you is the only way you can take care of others. Look to the resources below for help.

Sources:
Supportiv. The impact of caregiving on your physical and mental health. 
Supportiv. Maintaining boundaries as a caregiver: go from guilt to glow.

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JUNE 2024

Teens, tweens and social media: the good, the bad and how to make the best of it

Social media has become a part of daily life for most Americans. It’s the same for teens and tweens. Up to 95% report using a social media platform, with almost a third saying they use social media “almost constantly”. 

While we’ve all read about cyberbullies and other online threats, social media can also give teens a sense of community, acceptance and belonging. This begs the question: Is social media good or bad for our teens?

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The good parts

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Connection

In a 2018 Pew survey, 81% of teens said that social media helped them stay connected to their friends. 69% felt it allowed them to interact with a more diverse group of people. 68% said they found people online who would support them through tough times.

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Self-expression and personal growth

Social media can help teens express themselves and teach them new skills. It exposes them to more perspectives and opinions. It makes sharing information easier. And it can provide teens with support from other people with whom they have hobbies or experiences in common.

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Support for mental health

Anxious teens may find connecting online easier than in-person meetings, alleviating their loneliness. Teens who belong to groups that often get marginalized may find their tribe using social media. Social media that’s humorous or distracting can help a stressed teen cope with a challenging day.

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Relationship-building

Some young people use social media to “build their brand” for social, school or business ventures. From reselling clothing or crafts on sites such as Depop or Etsy, to building a following for passion projects, such as car restoration, a social media presence can be a key tool for success.

The bad parts

Highly addictive

Because social media is designed to keep users coming back for more, it can be very addictive to the teenage brain. Adolescence is a period of significant brain development, making teenagers especially vulnerable to the built-in immediate gratification of shares, “likes,” comments and followers — especially since social media is always “on”.

In addition, emerging research suggests that short-form videos, such as those on TikTok and Instagram, are shortening attention spans. This can increase stress levels and interfere with school performance.

Sleep deprivation

According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 70% of high schoolers don’t get enough sleep. Staying up late scrolling social media can contribute. Adolescents who don’t get enough sleep have a higher risk of obesity, diabetes, injuries, poor mental health and problems with attention and behavior.

Negative self-image and poor mental health

Social media is full of carefully crafted and filtered profiles. The perfect look and life of their favorite influencer can encourage teens and tweens to have unrealistic expectations. This can lead to body image concerns, eating disorders and poor self-esteem. 

Cyberbullying can be even more severe than in-person bullying. Abusive messages or images can be sent anonymously, shielding perpetrators from consequences. Plus, by posting pictures of themselves, teens may unwillingly open themselves up to vicious comments and unwanted shares. Teens may find it hard to escape this form of bullying  since rumors can spread farther, faster and be around for a long time.

In addition, the pressure to stay on top of the latest trends and opportunities can increase stress associated with FOMO (fear of missing out). Research has found that teens who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

If your teen is struggling with any of these issues, Telemynd’s* expert therapists and psychiatrists offer help for sleep issues, cyberbullying, poor body image, ADHD, depression and anxiety.

Oversharing and regret

With the teenage brain, it’s common to make a choice before thinking it through. Teens might post something when they’re angry or upset and regret it later. Or share things that they’re not supposed to. This can be embarrassing and bring unwanted attention far beyond their close friend group.

5 ways to keep your teen in the good zone

So how can you try to ensure that your teen stays safe and has more positive experiences on social media? These 5 simple tips can help.

number 1

Talk about it

Check in with your teen about how social media’s working for them right now. Let them share their feelings about the time they spend on Instagram or Snapchat. Ask them what they find interesting and, if possible, suggest activities they could do to support that interest. If you’re concerned that your teens can’t control their social media use, talk about your concerns in a nonjudgmental way. Give your teens a chance to share their perspective on what they think could improve their experience.

number 2

Set a good example

It’s easy to jump on your phone to catch up on things when you get home from work. But remember, your behaviors are a model for your kids. When they’re talking to you, put your phone down. Make it a rule that everyone turns their phone off at mealtime. Be thoughtful about what you share on your own social media accounts and don’t post when you’re angry or upset. Show your kids that they control their social media use, it doesn’t control them.

number 3

Avoid toxicity

Discourage your teens from friending just anyone or engaging with people whose behavior is hurtful, demeaning or toxic. Rather than telling them who to connect with and who to avoid, share your own experiences with friends, both good and bad, to show that you can relate. Do your best to be non-judgmental and empathetic. And let your teens know they can always talk to you if they are worried about social media interactions that can be harmful to themselves or others.

number 4

Urge them to stay grounded

If your teens are seeing things on social media that make them feel like they don’t measure up, point out that not everything they see is real. The opposite is true, too — if they’re racking up likes for their social media persona, remind them that their real self is great, too. Either way, champion the idea of cultivating some screen-free time so they can stay in touch with who they are in real life.

number 5

Set boundaries

Remember, you know your kid best. If social media seems to make them feel worse, not better, about themselves, or you’re concerned about the amount of time they spend online, setting limits as a family could help. RethinkCare’s podcast Screen time, video games and social media can give you some ideas.  

If you or your tween or teen could benefit from some extra support navigating social media, ask for help. Start by learning more about the resources below.

Sources:
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Social media and youth mental health.
Mayo Clinic. Teens and social media: what’s the impact?
Centers for Disease Control. Sleep and health.

*Available only on the mainland.

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APRIL 2024

5 resources to help you navigate life

“In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.” – Benjamin Franklin  

We’ve probably all heard this quote before. But did you know that your Costco benefits offer financial and legal services to help you with these two events — and many more in between? The following five topics may or may not apply to you, but if they do, make sure to use your benefits programs for support.

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Taxes

Let’s start with something that most Americans have to do — taxes. While it’s likely many of you have already filed your income tax return this year (the filing deadline is always April 15, unless that date falls on a weekend), there may be a few last-minute filers out there who can use a little help.

If you have any questions about your taxes, Resources for Living (RFL), your Employee Assistance Program, offers a free consultation with a tax professional, as well as articles on topics such as common tax errors and tax benefits for education. RFL’s tax team can also prepare your personal income tax return at a discounted rate. 

Identity theft

Fraud and identity theft reports have nearly tripled in the last decade.1 And no one is immune. If you see any of the warning signs, such as bills for items you didn’t buy or debt collection calls for credit cards you didn’t open, the sooner you act, the better.

RFL’s identity theft and fraud resolution program provides free consultations with certified fraud specialists, 24/7. These specialists will work to restore your identity and credit history. You can also access RFL’s identity theft resource center for information and advice on how to protect yourself against identity theft before it happens.

Divorce and family issues 

Going through a divorce can be a challenge. If you have property or assets to divide, or if you have kids and need to work out custody and child support arrangements, you’ll probably need legal assistance.

A free 30-minute consultation with an attorney through RFL is a good first step. Then, if necessary, use their online resource center to find an attorney or mediator in your area and get a discount on ongoing legal advice. You can also search the extensive legal library to answer your questions and educate yourself on the legal process.

Wills and estate planning

No one wants to plan for sickness or disability. But planning can make all the difference in an emergency and at the end of life. Being prepared and having important documents completed can give you peace of mind, help ensure your wishes are honored and ease the burden on your loved ones.

RFL offers free tools to create legal documents that outline how your estate and finances will be handled in the future, including a will, a living trust and a power of attorney. Access the RFL Legal Resource Center and register for an account to get started. These documents have detailed, step-by-step instructions and can be accessed at any time. You can also request a free 30-minute consultation with an attorney experienced in estate law to help get you started. 

Investing where you work

As a Costco employee, you play a big role in the company’s success. Owning a stake in the company you work for means you can share in the profits you help build. This, in turn, may help grow your savings over time. 

Through the Employee Stock Purchase Plan administered by UBS, you can purchase Costco’s common stock through regular payroll deductions. Costco covers the commissions, so there are no additional broker fees. Participation is completely voluntary and open to employees age 18 and older.

1 Federal Trade Commission. Consumer Sentinel Network data book 2022.

Sources:
USA.gov. Identity theft.
National Institute on Aging. Getting your affairs in order checklist: Documents to prepare for the future.

Use the following resources to help support your financial well-being.

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FEBRUARY 2024

Video: Men and loneliness

According to the U.S. Surgeon General, we’re facing an epidemic of loneliness in America. This lack of social connection is associated with a greater risk for heart disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death. And while loneliness and social isolation can affect people at all ages, men tend to struggle more than women do, often with devastating consequences.

But there are simple things we can do as individuals and as a community to restore connection and help heal each other. Watch the video below to learn more.

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DECEMBER 2023

Well-being toolkit

By learning about and using your Costco benefits this past year, you’ve worked hard to improve emotional, financial and physical well-being for you and your family. Studies show that higher levels of well-being are associated with a lower risk of disease and injury, better immune function, increased longevity, heightened personal development and greater social connectedness. This well-being toolkit will help you keep up the good work you started.

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How to use your toolkit

Your well-being toolkit provides simple ideas to help you live healthier, improve your quality of life and realize your full potential. To get started, choose the aspect of your emotional, financial or physical well-being you’d like to work on, and then try one or more of the suggested activities. Use the toolkit whenever you need support to be your best self.

Keep the well-being toolkit as a handy checklist to use anywhere, at any time.

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Take an emotional breather

Build resilience

  • Create a list of things you’re grateful for, such as a great friend or warm cup of coffee.
  • Look at a difficult situation from different angles to find another solution.
  • Go to a park or greenspace and soak up nature.

Strengthen connections

  • Spend time with your kids, friends or family members doing something you all enjoy.
  • Ask for help when you’re tired or overwhelmed.
  • Volunteer for causes you care about in your community.

Be mindful

  • Take slow, deep breaths through your nose and out through your mouth.
  • Go on a stroll and engage all your senses.
  • Do a mental scan of your body to feel more connected to your physical and emotional self.
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Take a financial time-out

Know where you stand

  • Track your spending to see where your money is going.
  • Check your FICO credit score (the number used to predict how likely you are to pay back a loan) through your bank or online service.
  • Set up a budget to make sure you can cover your expenses.

Tackle debt

  • Create a debt pay-off plan.
  • Cut down on expenses that aren’t necessary.
  • Reduce your credit card use.

Save for the future

  • Save money for an emergency fund.
  • Increase your Costco 401(k) contribution.
  • Set up automatic recurring deposits into a savings account.
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Take a physical break

Get active

  • Set specific goals for your physical activity, like “walk a mile every day.”
  • Try a free 20-minute online workout — there are lots to choose from on YouTube.
  • Take the stairs or walk whenever possible.

Mind your metabolism

  • Stand or walk regularly to reduce your time sitting down.
  • Drink water before grabbing a snack to help fill you up.
  • Sleep at least seven hours a night to keep metabolism steady.

Maintain your muscle

  • Walk with small hand weights to work your arms and your core.
  • Do pushups, squats or lunges when watching TV.
  • Eat a balanced diet with plenty of protein.

Your Costco benefits can help you on your well-being journey. See the resources below for more information.

Sources:
Forbes. How to create a financial wellness checklist.
National Institutes of Health. Emotional wellness toolkit.
National Institutes of Health. Physical wellness toolkit.
Ramsey Solutions. The 7 baby steps.

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AUGUST 2023

Teach your child self-compassion by learning it yourself

Remember the first time your child said “mama” or “papa?” It was a thrilling moment for you. You helped by patiently repeating the word and pointing to yourself. Your child did their part by watching, listening intently and trying to mimic you.

In the first years of life, our children learn everything from language to how to catch a ball by watching and listening to us. As the years go by, they also learn from teachers, other kids, books, TV and social media. But when it comes to self-compassion, your child is taking almost all of their cues from you. Here’s how to help them take away the right lessons.

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What is self-compassion?

Whether it’s on the playground, at school, on the job or in our relationships, when we experience a setback, it’s common to respond in one of two ways. Either we become defensive and blame others, or we blame ourselves. Neither response is especially helpful.

Blaming others may lessen the sting of failure, but it comes at the expense of learning. Blaming ourselves, on the other hand, may feel deserved in the moment, but it can lead to an inaccurately gloomy view of our potential, which can undermine personal development.

What if instead we treated ourselves as we would a friend in a similar situation? More likely than not, we’d be kind, understanding and encouraging. Directing that type of response internally, toward ourselves, is known as self-compassion, and it’s been the focus of a good deal of research in recent years. Psychologists are discovering that self-compassion is useful in our personal growth and well-being.

Tips for teaching self-compassion

Children are masters of observation. They’ll pick up on — and repeat — both your words and your behavior. To that end, if you want your child to develop self-compassion, start modeling self-compassion, rather than self-criticism. Here’s how:

Acknowledge your feelings

It’s okay to not be okay! If you explain the context to your child — in an age-appropriate way — you show them how to discuss their feelings in a healthy way. Start by acknowledging they are experiencing an emotion. This simple act of acknowledgment, which may be as effortless as saying, “I can see that this upset you” can go a long way.

Give thanks

Positivity is a skill, and one way to build it up is through gratitude. Noting what you’re grateful for — even that first cup of coffee in the morning — nudges your brain to look for good things in other parts of your day. Sharing these observations aloud can teach your child to do the same.

Practice self-care

Self-care shouldn’t be a reward you can only earn once you finish all your to-dos. If you try to bring it to the top of the list, your child will learn to care for themselves, too. Ask yourself: What makes you feel like the best version of yourself? Perhaps it’s taking a few minutes for yourself each day to read a book or spend time outdoors. Do your best to prioritize those things.

Forgive yourself

Self-compassion is key to self-acceptance, so show your child how it’s done! Focus on progress over perfection. When things go awry — as they always do — point out how you’re doing the best you can and moving forward, instead of dwelling on what didn’t go according to plan.

Learn something new

When you take time to try out new experiences and learn new skills, you’re teaching your child the value of curiosity and a love of learning — not to mention how to be resilient. (You won’t succeed at everything, and that’s okay!) Make a list of new things you’d like to try, then have at it.

Build emotional awareness

Emotions are often held in the body. That’s why you get butterflies when you’re excited or sweaty palms before a meeting. Becoming aware of when and how your emotions show up can help you better understand them. Share these insights with your child, and you can work on identifying emotions together.

Troubleshoot

No one expects you to be positive all the time. (And thank goodness, because that sounds exhausting.) If you’re having a bad day, use it as a teaching moment to share your feelings with your child. Your child can learn by watching you get through it.

And as helpful as techniques like deep breathing and meditation can be, sometimes you need to address the stressor itself. Once you pinpoint the source of your chronic stress, think about what’s within your control to change. A trusted friend or therapist can help.

Remember this takeaway

Changing your mindset may be a challenge. (It’s so much easier to be hard on yourself!) But when you try to be self-compassionate, your child is more likely to be kind to themselves, as well.

Source: The Greater Good Science Center. Three simple ways for kids to grow their self compassion.

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AUGUST 2023

Get expert parenting support

Raising a child is a rewarding, exhausting, joyous and, often, challenging experience. And in recent years, the challenges have become particularly difficult. From pandemic-related educational setbacks and social isolation, to bullying on social media, kids today are dealing with stressors their parents could have never imagined. In today’s world, social media can be fun for learning and games but, it’s always “on”. Not only does it open up risk for inappropriate content being shared, it opens your kids up for sharing information with strangers.

Whether your child is anxious about returning to school, struggling with a learning disability or dealing with a serious mental health condition, there’s good news. You don’t have to face these challenges alone. As a Costco employee, you can access expert care, resources and information — much of it at no cost to you — through your Costco benefits.

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Even when life is going smoothly, make sure you’re familiar with the benefits Costco provides for your family’s emotional well-being. Know where to turn when challenges arise and access a wide array of webinars, videos and articles designed to help you better manage the many challenges of parenting.

Check out these resources for parents and kids

Resources for Living logo

Resources For Living® (RFL®)*, your enhanced Employee Assistance Program (EAP), is the place to start when you or your child needs mental health support or help with everyday challenges. RFL offers you and the members of your household free, 24/7 access to mental health resources, for you, the members of your household and your dependent children up to age 26 living away from home.

Through RFL, you can also access Talkspace, confidential, on-demand chat therapy with a licensed therapist. Counseling sessions can be by phone, video or on-demand chat. You decide what works best for you. After your sixth no-cost session, you can keep using Talkspace under your medical plan, with a copay.

RFL also gives you access to:

  • Interactive self-care programs
  • A library of informative articles, podcasts and webinars
  • Help finding in-network providers who are accepting new patients
  • Referrals to community resources
  • Many work-life support services, such as help finding child care or legal services


Telemynd offers virtual access to therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists specializing in hundreds of conditions. They can evaluate, diagnose and provide therapy or psychiatric treatment for kids, teens and adults. Telemynd offers:

• Talk therapy
• Couples counseling
• Family therapy
• Psychiatry and medication management

Telemynd.com/costco | 877-403-9348 | Age 5+ | Copays apply

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RethinkCare gives you access to virtual consultations with parenting experts. It also includes online training courses to help you learn how to help your child set healthy boundaries, be optimistic, practice self-compassion and self-advocacy, set goals and solve problems, become more resilient, and more.

For more support raising happy, healthy kids:

  • Tune in to RethinkCare’s Behaviorally Speaking podcast for tips from parenting experts on topics like Emotional Intelligence, Resiliency and Growth Mindset, and Stress Management for kids and teens.
  • Help set your child up for success in the new year school by checking out this webinar about Helping Kids Strengthen their Social Skills, available on-demand to fit your busy schedule.
  • New! Your RethinkCare benefit now offers courses that focus on boosting your child’s executive functioning skills, including attention, focus, organization, time management and impulse control. These skills are critical to helping children grow up to be successful in school, work and relationships, improve their ability to solve problems, get along with others, make safe and healthy decisions, and more.  

This year, as your child returns to the classroom, remember that if challenges arise, your Costco benefits are there to support you. All you have to do is use them.

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AUGUST 2023

Self-care tips for moms

Parenting is hard work. And life can be even more hectic if you balance a career outside the home. With so much time devoted to your family and career, finding time for self-care is probably the first thing left out of a busy schedule. But the fact is, self-care is essential because of the important role you play in your family. Like all caregivers, you need to focus on your own well-being to stay resilient, engaged and refreshed. And it’s not just for yourself, it’s for the benefit of your family. If you’re tired, stressed-out and crabby, you simply can’t be as loving and effective a parent as you can when you take time for self-care.

So, what is self-care? It’s the practice of caring for your own health, well-being and happiness. Making time for yourself may feel indulgent, but that’s far from the truth. Even small acts of self-care or self-kindness can go a long way in decreasing feelings of exhaustion, burnout, stress and even depression that busy mothers often feel.

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Make self-care a part of your routine

Start by following these four simple tips:

number 1

Delegate and ask for help.

It’s hard to admit you may need help or can’t accomplish everything on your own. Some say it takes a village to care for a family, and they’re not wrong. Find your village and ask for help. Accept help when offered. And understand that things won’t be done exactly the way you do them — and that’s OK. Is perfection more important than your well-being? Of course not! Take the extra time to focus on yourself. You deserve it. And don’t be afraid to say no to commitments that don’t interest you or that you don’t have time for.

number 2

Stay organized.

Hang a planner, calendar or list of upcoming appointments and tasks in the kitchen and encourage everyone in the family to use it. Remind them that when responsibilities are shared, everyone’s load is lighter. By doing this, you can avoid stress from the unexpected, such as the school project your child needs help to complete the night before it’s due. Prioritize tasks to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Start by completing the most time-consuming or least interesting tasks to get them out of the way first.

number 3

Focus on basic, healthy lifestyle habits. 

Although, it may not always be possible, aim for seven to eight hours of sleep each night. Try for some daily physical activity each day, aiming for 30-minutes a day. Eat a healthy diet of lean meats, low-fat dairy, fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Avoid sugary drinks, alcohol and high-fat foods. Drink six to eight cups of water daily.

number 4

Add “me time” to your schedule.

For example, schedule a fitness class, lunch with a friend or coffee with a good book. Once the date is scheduled, try your best to keep it just as you would any other appointment.

The most important components of self-care are to be realistic and purposeful. If your schedule is hectic and chaotic, it may not be realistic to expect hours a week to focus on self-care activities. So start small with attainable expectations. For example, take 10 minutes a day to focus on you. Whether it’s enjoying a quiet moment reading a book, or having a relaxing cup of tea, it may be all you need to reset and return to your schedule.

A mom’s health and well-being affect the entire family. By incorporating self-care into your regular routine, you’ll become an even more amazing caregiver. You’ve got this, mom!

Source: Mayo Clinic Health System. Self-care tips for moms.

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Learn the basics

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LEARN THE BASICS

JUNE 2023

8 rules for more constructive conversations

The root word of communication is communion, which means to share intimate thoughts. It doesn’t always mean coming to an agreement. It means there’s a flow, a willingness to open up, to listen and be heard, to understand and be understood.

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1. Keep the gloves on.

Mutual respect is rule #1. If you don’t respect the person you’re talking to then you may want to avoid having a conversation at this time. All parties should enter the conversation with positive intent — to understand and be understood.

2. Think it through.

The most important conversation is the one you have with yourself. Take a moment to collect your thoughts and the points you want to make. Then, stay on track and in the moment. Avoid bringing up unrelated topics. Know what your anchor is and refer to it regularly.

3. Stick to the facts.

State what you know to be true. This doesn’t mean you have to be a historian, medical expert or political scientist. Your lived experiences are true for you. The same goes for the person you’re speaking with.

4. Aim for dialogue. Not monologue.

Ensure that other people have a chance to be heard. Avoid raising your voice and interrupting or talking over people, even if they’re using these tactics.

5. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Instead of solely trying to prove your point, listen with the intent of understanding what the other person is trying to say. What can you learn from this conversation? What light can they shed? Is there something you hadn’t previously thought of or considered? Listening makes people feel seen, heard and valued. This can greatly increase the odds that they’ll do the same for you.

6. Stay calm.

Emotionally charged conversations can be extremely stressful. This can make us only want to engage with people who already agree with us. If we do engage, we can sometimes be defensive, say things we later regret, or stop listening altogether and simply wait until we get a chance to speak. When we keep our emotions in check, we open up consideration for other points of view and expanded thinking. If you need to step away from the conversation to collect yourself, that’s okay, too. Remember, the loudest voices aren’t necessarily right.

7. Use appropriate language.

Tuck away the insults, stereotypes and triggering comments. (Review the previous step if necessary.)

8. Show genuine interest.

Use the tips below to help your conversation partner feel seen, valued and inspired to return the favor.

  • Put away distractions. Turn off the phone. Pull out your earbuds. Make eye contact.
  • Repeat words or short phrases back. This lets the person you’re talking to know you heard what they said. For example, “You said you think what happened is unfair. Okay, can you help me understand why?”
  • Respect personal experiences and emotions. Refrain from making dismissive comments like, “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re overreacting.” Instead, say, “I hadn’t thought of it like that. I understand now” or “I was wrong. Thank you for correcting me.”
  • Ask questions. Go beyond the obvious and dig a little deeper. Ask questions like, “Why do you feel this is the best option?” “What was considered when arriving at your point of view?” “Can you tell me more about how you feel?” or “Can you explain why you think that?” In response, try saying things like, “I feel _ because of _.”

After a hard conversation, take time to think about what you discussed. Journal your thoughts. Write down what you learned, what you wished you had said or what you could have said differently. Ask yourself what you learned about yourself and others.

This kind of mindful review can help you recognize your blind spots. Over time, you’ll become more comfortable approaching challenging conversations.

Remember, none of us is perfect. We may sometimes miss the mark in our attempt to gain understanding, forget to mention something or, upon later reflection, have a change of heart. It‘s okay to revisit conversations and even concede ground if need be. In the end, we may have to agree to disagree to avoid jeopardizing relationships with people in our lives.

Source: AbleTo. How to have difficult conversations.