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MAY 2024

Managing anxiety for kids and teens

Has your child frequently complained about feeling sick to their stomach? Does your teen seem increasingly irritable or withdrawn? Have your kids stopped doing the things they used to enjoy? These may be signs of anxiety.

Anxiety disorders are the most common childhood mental health condition, affecting 1 in 8 children.1 They are also highly treatable with the right care. Read on for information about childhood anxiety and how you can help your child build skills and resilience to manage their symptoms.

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Forms of anxiety

Anxiety is a normal human response to stress, danger or a threat. But if the anxiety persists once the threat is gone or the threat never existed in the first place, it can get in the way of your child being able to live their life. This may indicate that they need help.

Anxiety can show up for kids in a lot of different scenarios, including:

  • Separating from primary caregivers
  • Social situations that can bring up fears of not fitting in or being judged or bullied
  • Worry about grades or doing well enough
  • Fear of failure or the unknown
  • Irrational, unspecified or obsessive fear
  • Worry about germs or contamination

It’s common for kids to feel anxiety on multiple fronts, such as feeling anxious about attending a class for both social and academic reasons.

Signs of anxiety

Since anxiety disorders tend to run in families, they are most likely caused by a combination of genetics and environment. Here are some signs of anxiety that occur within:

Any
age

Trouble sleeping

Low appetite

Excessive worrying or negative thoughts

Irritability 

Constantly looking for reassurance

Younger children

Headaches or stomachaches 

Having accidents at night

Returning to behaviors that they had outgrown (regression) 

Acting out 

Frequent crying 

Being clingy or fidgety 

Touching crotch area (more common in boys) 

School-age children, teens and tweens

Avoiding school and other social settings

Trouble concentrating 

Withdrawing from family and friends 

Not keeping up with personal hygiene 

Angry outbursts 

Physical symptoms: headaches, stomachaches, racing heart, muscle tension, missed periods, sweating or blushing

Short videos are available to help parents understand childhood anxiety. Watch this video for a deeper dive into the symptoms of anxiety and this video to learn more about anxiety in younger kids.

Anxiety and other mental health conditions 

Childhood anxiety often occurs along with a range of mental health conditions, including developmental differences and learning challenges. Here are some that are most common.

Anxiety and panic attacks

A panic attack is a period of intense fear and anxiety that can last minutes or hours. It may be triggered by something stressful, though many are unexpected. Panic attacks most often start in the tween or teen years and can become so severe that the child may be afraid to leave home. Symptoms can include a racing heartbeat, tightness in the chest, lightheadedness, stomach cramps, shaking legs, and fears of losing control or dying.

Anxiety and depression

Depression and anxiety disorders commonly occur together in children, even sharing some symptoms such as trouble sleeping, increased irritability, and withdrawing from friends or activities. In fact, kids who have anxiety as children are more likely to have depression as teens.

Anxiety and ADHD 

About 3 in 10 children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) also have an anxiety disorder.2 These conditions can look very much alike in certain circumstances. Some of the symptoms of ADHD can be the same as the symptoms of anxiety. If your child is struggling, a counselor or therapist can determine how best to support your child.

What you can do

If you’re a parent or caregiver, your child’s health and well-being couldn’t be more important. Following these steps when your child’s anxiety is interfering with their normal activities can be life changing for your child and your family. 

number 1

Have calm, open conversations.

Approach conversations when your child is anxious  with empathy, compassion and honesty. It’s important to be patient as you help your child navigate solutions. Try to:

  • Validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel stressed out, worried or afraid.  
  • Model coping. Talk them through your own experiences with anxiety. For example, if talking to a neighbor made you feel anxious, let your kids know how you feel and how you’re planning to cope, maybe by drinking a glass of water and taking a walk around the block. 
  • Avoid blanket reassurances. Saying “that’s not going to happen” isn’t necessarily true. Instead, let your child know you have confidence that they can handle what they fear. 
  • Encourage your kids to give anxiety a name. Anything from Bob to Voldemort. Doing so helps create space between them and what they’re feeling. And it can make anxiety easier to talk about. Another tip: Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” reframe it as, “I’m feeling anxious.” This helps reinforce that the feeling is temporary. And it’s not a part of their identity.
number 2

Help them face their fears.

If kids have anxiety about something, they tend to avoid it. That’s true even for adults, who may find it hard to do tasks that are intimidating or overwhelming. Avoiding a task can keep kids safe in the moment, but it also reinforces the idea that they can’t do it, or they can’t tolerate their anxiety.  

While it’s natural to want to swoop in and rescue your child when they’re in distress, making a plan to approach the things that they’re afraid of will be beneficial in the long run. Over time, their anxiety will be lowered because their new learning will make them more resilient. It will reinforce the fact that they can do hard things. 

number 3

Seek professional help.

One of the best ways to treat anxiety is with counseling. Your Costco benefits offer several resources to help you help your child.

  • Telemynd* can provide quick access to therapists and medication management for children ages 5+, teens and adults if you’re enrolled in an Aetna® medical plan. Worry and anxiety are the top reasons Costco employees pursue therapy with their child.  
  • Talkspace, a program from Resources for Living, is an on-demand video chat- and text-based therapy program, available 24/7 to teens age 13+ and adults. The first six sessions are free to all Costco employees, their household members and dependent children up to age 26.

*Available only on the mainland.
**Not available in Puerto Rico.

1National Library of Medicine. Anxiety in children.
2ADDitude. Which came first: the anxiety or the ADHD?

Sources:
WebMD. Recognizing childhood depression and anxiety.
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Panic disorder in children and adolescents.
The Baker Center for Children and Families. Helpful tips for parenting anxious kids and talking about anxiety.

Check out the resources below to get the support your family needs — much of it at no cost to you.

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MAY 2024

The “default parent syndrome” and other parenting challenges

Parenthood can be a bumpy ride. Filled with ups, downs, twists, turns and heart-swelling joy, it’s a journey that requires unwavering resilience from whomever decides to take it.  

But how do you build the strength to overcome and bounce back from obstacles day in and day out? Let’s explore how you can successfully navigate some of the challenges you face with the help of your Costco benefits.

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The “default parent syndrome”

The default parent is the one in a two-parent household who’s first in line when it comes to caring for children and home-related responsibilities.

In the past, it was typical for one parent to stay at home with the children while the other parent went to work. Today, despite most households having two working parents, one parent still often carries the bigger load in parenting — helping with school projects, signing permission slips, managing doctor’s appointments, maintaining the activities schedule, and the list goes on.

But no matter which parent is the default parent, the role can feel overwhelming and exhausting when family demands and stress exceed your resources. Social media users have created a name for it: the default parent syndrome. 

The consequences of the default parent syndrome can be rough on the whole family. The default parent may experience chronic fatigue, feelings of resentment toward their partner and a decline in mental health. The non-default parent can feel disconnected from the default parent. The quality of the relationship between each parent and their children can also suffer.  

But with patience and collaboration, you can overcome the negative effects of the default parent syndrome. Strategies such as effective communication between partners, shared problem-solving and counseling can all help.

Resources for Living offers tools and support for families and relationships, including six free counseling sessions per person, per year. You can also get expert advice on how to overcome parental burnout and work together as parents from RethinkCare. Check out their free webinar How to enjoy parenting from an empty tank.

If you sign up for RethinkCare, you can register for monthly parent discussion groups to help you navigate parenting challenges. Choose the session that fits your schedule and the age of your child. This month’s topic is “Finding the Joy in Chaos”. 

Finding time for you 

Let’s be honest. Most parents don’t have a choice when it comes to navigating whatever life throws at them. Making sure your kids are safe, healthy and loved while you’re holding down a job, driving your kids to and from activities, and so much more takes work and immense strength. But it’s important to remember that you don’t have endless energy, no matter how much you love your children. 

Committing to self-care can help keep you physically, emotionally and mentally healthy so that you can be the best parent you can be. Explore what lifts you up, such as running, talking with friends or crafting, and make time to do it. Focus on what you can do — a 10-minute walk — versus what you should do — a long hike in the woods. And celebrate every achievement, no matter how small.  

Remember, self-care is not selfish. When you work on your own resiliency, you’re helping your children by modeling essential skills, including problem-solving, setting goals and self-advocacy. It’s these skills that will help them face and overcome challenges in their own life with grace and strength.

Growing your family?

The decision to bring a child, or another child, into your life can trigger concerns about health for mom and baby, including mental health for moms who may experience postpartum depression. Sometimes, just getting pregnant can be difficult or stressful — nearly 15% of couples struggle with infertility.1 Addressing your concerns is essential to moving forward with your family plan.

The Aetna Maternity Program* offers education and answers for every stage of pregnancy. Once enrolled, you’ll get access to resources and expert guidance and support from specially trained nurses on topics such as: 

  • Prenatal care 
  • Lowering your risk for early labor 
  • Fertility  
  • Mental health and postpartum depression  
  • And more 

You can also access the online Maternity Support Center on your member website at Aetna.com for additional help.

*Available only on the mainland.

1National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. How common is infertility?

Sources:
Psychology Today. The default parent syndrome: more than just a TikTok trend.
NUK. A trait every mom shares: resiliency.

If you’re a mom, dad, or mom-to-be, check out these resources to help you build your inner strength.

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MAY 2024

How to give your brain the rest it needs

It’s common to think of rest as taking a nap or relaxing on the couch in front of the TV. But true rest, according to experts, isn’t an entirely passive experience.  

“The most restorative kinds of rest — the things that recharge our mental and physical batteries most effectively — are the things that are active,” says Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, author of the book Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less. “Going for a long walk or working out can give us more rather than less energy and leave us feeling more mentally rewarded.”

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Your brain at rest

The advocacy for more rest is backed by science. When researchers began mapping brain activity, they were surprised to learn that the resting brain is still an active brain.

Shifting attention from a task that requires concentration to daydreaming or reflection (something needing less active mental focus) activates the brain’s default mode network, or DMN. While there’s still much to be learned about this network, the DMN is believed to be involved in a variety of cognitive functions, including creative thinking.

Rest takes practice

Many of us are constantly fishing for relaxation, throwing our efforts behind every task on the to-do list, hoping that we’ll eventually cross the last one off and be able to unwind. We may feel like we don’t have room for rest on the list. But endless effort without rest can lead to burnout. 

Luckily, rest is something you can practice and improve. 

“Rest is something that we can learn to do better,” says Pang. He suggests developing a daily practice that allows rest to be a bigger part of your life rather than something you do at the end of the day. Check out the tips below to start getting the restorative rest you need.

7 ways to build your rest habit

number 1

Focus on active rest

Active rest means disconnecting from a focused task and getting active. Even if it tires you, it still counts as rest for your brain. “The long walk while listening to a podcast may deliver more of a recharge and reset than being on the sofa watching ‘The Great British Bake Off,’” Pang says.

number 2

Get a hobby.

Turning your attention to a hobby — painting, drumming, ceramics, bird- watching — is also a form of rest. Having a serious hobby that you’re excited about also promotes the release of dopamine, the “feel good” hormone in your brain.

number 3

Make a “today” list.

To-do lists are often packed with endless tasks, and just looking at them can be exhausting and demoralizing. Robert Poynton, author of the book Do Pause: You Are Not a To Do List, suggests making a “today” list with just the essential tasks you can reasonably complete today, such as doing laundry, making dinner and paying your utility bill. Once you’ve done the today list, then you can create time for rest.

For other items on your to-do list, try Worklife from Resources for Living. This program can help you find resources for everyday life, including child care, pet sitters, housecleaners  and more.

number 4

Practice “micro” pauses.

Microbreaks have been shown to boost energy and reduce fatigue. Try doing a stretching exercise before you start your workday. Take three deep breaths at stoplights. Do something active, such as taking the stairs, to get your heart rate up for 90 seconds. Find what works for you.

number 5

Take tech breaks.

Our brains spend a surprising amount of energy preparing for the arrival of the next text, notification, “like” or email. Taking a break from electronic devices can provide relief from the stress of constant connection. Shutting down laptops and phones for a half an hour or more can allow the brain to rest.

number 7

Track where your time goes.

Many people don’t really know how they spend their time. Celeste Headlee, author of the book Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving, suggests jotting down what you’ve been doing every half hour. After a week or two, clear patterns will emerge. Once you identify how many potentially free hours a day you could have, plan for how you want to use this uncommitted time.

number 7

Take regular vacations.

Research suggests the benefits of taking time off peak around the eighth day and that much of a vacation’s or staycation’s mental health benefit comes from the days leading up to it. Take time away from work when you can to give your brain a rest. A few days away may be all you need.

Sources:
The Washington Post. Your brain needs more rest than you’re giving it. 
Fortune. The science behind why you need a hobby to boost your brain health and self-esteem.
Cleveland Clinic. How to do a digital detox for less stress, more focus.

Get the rest you need for your brain, body and overall well-being. Your Costco benefits can help. 

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Get the facts

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GET THE FACTS

MAY 2024

Video: Menopause support

You may already know that menopause is a normal, natural part of aging for women that typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55. But did you know that symptoms can start when a woman is in her 30s? Perimenopause, the stage before menopause, can last a decade or more. Many of the symptoms are physical, such as hot flashes, sleep issues, hair loss or weight gain. But emotional symptoms are common too, such as difficulty concentrating, mood changes, anxiety and even depression.

Learn a bit about what to expect with this short video What is menopause? Then check out your Costco benefits for support throughout your menopause journey.  

If you’re enrolled in an Aetna® medical plan, you can access virtual menopause care through Gennev.* And for pelvic pain, strengthening the pelvic floor or other pelvic health issues, get relief with virtual physical therapy through Omada Pelvic Health, offered to employees and dependents enrolled in a Costco medical plan.

Don’t miss the Resources for Living Here4U® perimenopause/menopause virtual peer support group. Led by a licensed clinician, these sessions are an opportunity to listen in, ask questions and connect with other women going through this experience.

Tuesday, May 21, 10 a.m. PT
Register here

Thursday, May 23, 3 p.m. PT
Register here

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+

Show transcript

*Available on the mainland only. 

Sources:
National Institute on Aging. What is menopause? 

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Welcome to Well-being Challenge #4!

emotional goal financial goal physical goal
 

Welcome to Well-being Challenge #4!

Choose one or more ways to improve your emotional, financial or physical well-being:

1Start every day with a positive affirmation.
2Add 5% of each paycheck to an emergency account.
3Increase your step count by 1,000 steps per day.

Start each day with a positive affirmation. 

Positive affirmations are short, encouraging statements you can say to yourself to help you overcome doubt and improve your self-confidence. They can be about a positive quality or trait you see in yourself or a choice you’ve made or are making that you’re proud of. Research has shown that saying positive affirmations reduces stress, increases well-being and makes you more open to making changes in your life.

You can say your affirmations out loud, in your head or write them down. Make them as specific as possible, for example, “I am strong,” “I can do hard things,” “I did great work this week.” With repetition, these positive phrases can reshape how you think and feel about yourself, improving your relationship with yourself and others.

Add 5% of each paycheck to an emergency account.

An emergency account is money you set aside for unexpected expenses, such as car repairs, a big rent increase or fixing a leaky roof. This money gives you peace of mind, knowing you can cover whatever surprises come your way. And it keeps you from having to use a credit card for emergencies so that you don’t have to pay interest on them for months.

Aim to save three to six months of expenses to fully fund your emergency account. To figure out that amount, look at your bank account to see what you usually spend in a month. Multiply that figure by three or six. Then start funding the account with 5% of each paycheck to build it over time. And make sure to keep your emergency money in a savings account, money market account or online bank where it’s easily accessible.

Increase your step count by 1,000 steps per day. 

A recent study reported by the New York Times showed that walking 4,000 steps a day, or for 30–45 minutes, can reduce the risk of dying from cardiovascular disease. It also found that the more steps you take, the better off you are — mortality risk decreased by 15% with every additional 1,000 steps people took.

Increasing your daily step count is easy. You can go for a stroll around the block after you get your mail. Chase your kids around at a park. Get off the bus a stop early. Or take a walk while you talk on the phone — a 20-minute phone call could take between 1,200 and 2,000 steps! If you have one, carry a smartphone with a step tracking app or a fitness tracker to record your steps. And be sure to listen to your body. Set a goal and do your best every day.

 

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Welcome to Well-being Challenge #3!

emotional goal financial goal physical goal

Welcome to Well-being Challenge #3!

Choose one of the following ways to improve your physical
well-being:

1Add 20 minutes of physical activity to each day.
2Drink a glass of water when you first wake up.
3Set a bedtime that’s early enough to get 7 hours of sleep.

Add 20 minutes of physical activity to each day.

There are a lot of small changes you can make in your day to add some activity. Take the stairs instead of the escalator. Park farther away from your destination. Have walking meetings at work or catch-up walks with friends. Do push-ups and squats while you’re watching TV

Every minute you move more and sit less adds up. By being physically active, you reduce your risk for disease, strengthen your bones and muscles, keep your thinking skills sharp, and even improve your life expectancy. Try to build up to a total of 150 minutes or more of moderate-intensity activity per week. Once you start looking for ways to add more activity to your day, you’ll find it easier to keep going.

Drink a glass of water when you first wake up.

Staying hydrated has loads of benefits. It improves your concentration, memory and mood. It aids digestion and boosts energy. It keeps your joints lubricated so you can move more freely. It can even reduce your chance of developing kidney stones.

Did you know you can lose water breathing and perspiring as you sleep? Starting your day with a glass of water helps hydrate your body in the morning. It also jump-starts your daily intake. Conventional wisdom suggests drinking at least eight glasses of water per day. But people have different hydration needs, so check with your doctor to see what’s right for you.

Set a bedtime that’s early enough to get 7 hours of sleep.

Getting enough sleep on a regular basis can be challenging, especially if you work the night shift or an irregular schedule. But it’s important not getting enough sleep can increase your risk for many diseases and disorders, such as heart disease, stroke and dementia.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to improve your sleep starting with setting a consistent bedtime. Most smartphones have a sleep mode feature you can use to set a bedtime that will help you meet your sleep goal. Your phone will notify you when it’s time to go to bed, and it will be silent until your wake-up alarm.

If you don’t have a smartphone, you can use a kitchen timer or other device. Make sure you go to bed once you get the bedtime signal. With practice, you can make it a habit.

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Welcome to Well-being Challenge #2!

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emotional goal financial goal physical goal

Welcome to Well-being Challenge #2!

Choose one of the following three ways to improve your
financial well-being:

1Track your spending for one month.
2Set up an automatic transfer from your checking account to
a savings account.
3Increase your Costco retirement account contribution by 1%.

Track your spending for one month

The first step of building a workable budget is to determine where your money is going each month. Use whatever expense tracker you’re comfortable with — whether it’s an app or a notebook and pen.
The point is to get accurate numbers and record them. Then at the end of the month, ask yourself a simple question: Are your expenses getting in the way of your financial goals?

For example, let’s say that every morning on the way to work you stop for a large cup of coffee and a doughnut, which costs around $3.75 with tax and tip. No big deal, right? But over a year’s time, that daily habit adds up to more than $1,000. If one of your financial goals is to take a vacation next year, would that $1,000 make a difference? When you know where your money is going, you can be intentional about redirecting it to align with your goals.

Set up an automatic transfer from your checking account to a savings account.

Then forget about it. That’s the beauty of an automatic transfer. You’re not tempted to spend it because the money is in your savings account before you even have a chance to think about it. When saving requires us to act, it’s far less likely to happen. We’re busy. We procrastinate. Money is a little tight this month. There are a million reasons why it doesn’t get done. But when it’s automatic, it just quietly builds until suddenly, you’ve got a nice little sum for emergencies, a vacation or another financial goal

Increase your Costco retirement account contribution by 1%.

It may not seem like much, but a 1% increase in your contribution can make a surprising difference to your Costco retirement account. With Costco matching your increased contribution and decades of compound interest accruing steadily, that 1% increase can have a big impact on your future financial stability.

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Quit tobacco with these tips

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FEBRUARY 2021

Go tobacco-free in 2021

Kicking the habit is tough, but there’s more help for you than ever before.
by Linda R. Bernstein

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Almost 35 million American adults use tobacco – and thousands of young people pick up this addicting and dangerous habit every day. If you use tobacco, including vaping, it’s time to take steps so that you can start 2021 tobacco-free.

Why quit?

Tobacco is responsible for nearly one in five deaths annually in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, tobacco hurts nearly every part of the body and increases the risk of heart disease, stroke and lung cancer.

It can increase the risk of emphysema and other breathing disorders, and can cause bone, teeth and gum, vision, arthritis and immune problems as well as Type 2 (adult onset) diabetes. It can also affect pregnancy, fertility and babies’ health.

Why is quitting so tough?

Nicotine, naturally found in tobacco, is very addictive, so it may take several tries to quit smoking. Withdrawal symptoms may include depression, feeling angry or irritable, anxiety, cravings for tobacco products and feeling hungrier than usual with resultant weight gain.

Ways to quit tobacco

There are several ways to quit smoking, including talking to a health care provider, group or individual counseling, and other forms of therapy.

Nicotine replacement products help you reduce your nicotine dose over time and avoid the other toxic ingredients of cigarettes. These products are available over the counter (OTC) and by prescription from your doctor. OTC nicotine replacement products come in the form of a patch, gum or lozenge.

Prescription nicotine comes as a patch, inhaler or nasal spray. Prescription non-nicotine medications used to help quit smoking include bupropion SR and varenicline tartrate, and are in tablet form. The products vary in cost.

Ask your health care provider and/or pharmacist before use to see if a tobacco cessation product is right for you, especially if you have other medical conditions. These products may cause side effects, so report any unusual reactions to your health care provider. Pregnant women may be advised against use.

Useful information for people who want to quit smoking can be found at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website.

Do yourself and your loved ones a favor. Start off the new year in the best way possible. Make a pledge to become tobacco-free in 2021.

Linda R. Bernstein, Pharm.D., is president and CEO of Vita Media Corporation, a medical communications company.

Story originally published in Costco Connection’s December 2019 issue.

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When to schedule a cancer screening

INFOGRAPHIC

FEBRUARY 2021

When to Schedule a Cancer Screening

Screenings are critical for early detection of cancer. When should you start getting screened? The answer depends on your age, lifestyle and history of cancer in your family. It’s important to follow recommendations for screening tests because when cancer is found early, it is most likely treatable.

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Recommended Screenings

PAP & HPV TEST
MOLE & SKIN CHECKS
MAMMOGRAM
COLORECTAL CANCER SCREENING
LUNG CANCER SCREENING
POSTATE EXAM

Sources: Mofit Cancer Center

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How to safely soak up the sun

SUNSCREEN 101:

FEBRUARY 2021

We’ve got you fully covered

One of the leading causes of skin cancer is the lack of using sunscreen. Skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States, and having five or more sunburns can increase your risk of developing melanoma.

By protecting your skin from the sun’s UV rays, you can lower your risk of skin cancer. Here’s how you can soak up the sun — in the safest way possible.

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Sunscreen isn’t just for summer

Did you know that even on cloudy days, up to 80 percent of the UV rays can penetrate the skin? And that snow, sand and water can also cause sun damage by reflecting UV rays? No matter the weather forecast, it’s important to wear sunscreen whenever you plan on heading outside.

Think more is more

Make sure to apply sunscreen anywhere that clothing doesn’t cover. The recommended amount of sunscreen for adults is about one ounce — or enough to fill a shot glass — for the entire body.

Time it out

Sunscreen should be applied at least 15 minutes before going outside.

Cover the forget-me-spots

The easiest spots to miss are also the easiest ones to burn. Don’t forget to apply (and reapply!) sunscreen to the tops of the feet, neck, ears, and top of the head. Your lips can also burn, so apply a lip balm with an SPF of 30 or more.

Reapply often

Reapply sunscreen every two hours, or immediately after swimming or sweating.

Check the expiration

Follow the expiration date listed on the sunscreen. Sunscreen without an expiration date has a shelf life of no more than three years, but its shelf life is shorter if it’s been exposed to high temperatures.

Sources: skincancer.org, CDC, aad.org